I'll Swim Backwards

That’s what today was kids.

And it’s a great fucking feeling

A few things.

Someone should tell me to listen to my own tattoos.

I still don’t think Julia Roberts is attractive, at all.

I’m calling this week HELLWEEK the end of MAYhem.

That’s all. Introspection is fucking lame.

Officially becoming a citizen of New York State and giving up my Texas ID in the process.

Also buffalo chicken burritos and bud light all night.

Let’s talk about this weekend.

Friday night was a night of rehearsal and awkwardness of watching a semi nude woman dance in the window of a bar on the lower east side.

Saturday was an all day awesome fest. Went to J Crew and got a badass suit for Thomas’s wedding, got shoes and took the suit to the tailor as well. Then ate some of the best food I ever had which consisted of raspberry and cream cheese stuffed french toast. Which was all followed by me dressing up super nice (see photo below) and going to a friend’s event for her company that I played guitar at, at which I got supremely drunk and ate wonderful food as well. I looked like Alfalfa from the little rascals. Please disregard the awesomeness of the photo. I’m mad dogging like a motherfucker. And if you don’t know what that means, god help you.

And today was perfect. Low key day drunk which involved beer pong and flip cup (i’m totally in college bro) and super good cheeses and berries and hummus.

I’m very ready for May to be over (which we are now referring to as MAYhem) but I’ve said that a million times.

Just crying and listening to my favorite record of all time.

I will painfully make it through the next year. And get exactly what I want at the end of it.

At least I better get what I fucking want. Or I’ll be pissed.

I heard today that some people think that the rapture is supposed to occur the day after my 24th birthday.

Fuck all that noise.