May 2013
liarnjamespayne:
in 5th grade they made my class do a seminar thing on drugs and we had to sign an anti-drug pledge and afterwards they gave us these really fancy certificates declaring that we would be drug free forever and i ended up rolling a joint with mine in freshman year so there u go
staybruuutalandsmilee:
worst physical pains
stepping on a lego
stubbing your toe
touching a curling iron
getting shampoo in your eyes
spilling lemon juice on a paper cut
getting stabbed 47 times
burning your tongue
sitting on a hairbrush
getting bit by an ant
one of these is not like the rest
whorville:
I have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life
*Wakes up in the middle of the night*
Me: Please don't be 6am
*1;48am*
Me: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO ME!
*Shoves face back into pillow*
1 tag
Don't worry if you don't fit in right now, kids...
sodamnrelatable:
1 tag
penice:
alegbra:
penice:
penice:
my wifi adapter is being so shitty i’m gonna kill myself
i’m a ghost now
is that a bedsheet on your head
no i’m a ghost
imperiousness:
reyguns:
imperiousness:
welcome to ohio we have
corn
motherfucker you wanna talk corn? i moved here from indiana
all the best sentences start with ‘motherfucker you wanna talk corn’
mypatronusisyou:
instead of banning girls from wearing certain things how about u just ban boys from being thirsty little hoes
